Time to listen to phrases (Week 6 Day 4)

Counte not thy Chickens that vnhatched be,
Waye wordes as winde, till thou finde certaintee

– Thomas Howell in New Sonnets and pretty Pamphlets, 1570

Where were you Thomas when I needed you? This is sound advice, sound advice that I didn’t take.

NEW Current status:

  • Husband in school
  • Husband working
  • Me working
  • Daughter in school

New plan is to figure out a new plan.

I plan to engage in some carb therapy with a good friend tonight.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Tomorrow I will start my new medication to hopefully help my body behave.

Things can get awkward (Week 6 Day 1-3)

Monday was a much needed day of rest. I was still riding high on my wave of accomplishment from the day before.

Tuesday I had a friend of a friend staying in our living room and despite the urge to run I resisted waking up our guest at 5 am while I got ready. Especially wanting to avoid the awkward point (Awkward number 1) when I return to the house, breathing heavily and looking like this:

Image

Scariness

Today I sought out the pool again. I endeavoured to accomplish two things:

  1. count how many laps I did so I can improve
  2. swim a continuous front crawl lap without switching strokes or having to glide for a significant period just so I can get a good breath

I failed at the first task (but I am sure I made it 10 or more laps) but I accomplished the second. For one measly lap I timed my breathing correctly so I didn’t have to resort to odd swimming techniques. But I did manage to swim for almost 30 minutes.

The weird thing about my 2 attempts into swimming is that the same gentleman in the fast lane wants to compare laps with me (Awkward number 2).

Last week

Dude: I have done 25 already. What are you at?

Me: uhhh I don’t know

Today

Dude: I have done 12 already, how many are you aiming for?

Me: uhhh I don’t know

Now I am not always quick with small talk, quick with a sarcastic zinger with friends but not with small talk. Also I am wearing a bathing suit and disliking attention while I am wearing it. I am pretty sure I will have this same conversation each week, whether I like it or not.

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Pink shirt day AKA anti-bullying day (Awkward number 3)

For some reason I am compelled to tell my own story here. This is my soapbox in the world.

I was a nerdy/dorky/geeky kid. I was bullied (not physically). I didn’t fit in.

I still panic when I think back to some of the incidents. I remember late elementary school when at lunch time the group of kids decided to make me feel awkward and stare at me the entire lunch period while I ate. I remember how my stomach fought to not lose my food as it churned with pain. I remembered the advice from my parents, “Ignore them and they will forget it and leave you alone.” I fought back tears as this was yet another blow to my fragile state. I remember the instigator and how his eyes bore into my forehead like he refused to see the pain in my eyes. The silence made me aware of my heart pounding and I blinked more than normal to try get away from that place and to just “ignore them”.

I am a stronger woman now. I have spent years ignoring them but it didn’t completely help. I have a great life but I never truly escaped.

5 years ago I had a 10 year high school reunion. One of the tormentors made a comment about me that I heard from afar. A comment about something that happened when we were in grade 4. My stomached knotted again. Sometimes they don’t just “leave you alone.”.

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As my daughter is now in school I fear for her. I worry.

I have hope though.

Yesterday she relayed that there are people in her class who are mean.

She told me that one girl was being mean to another. My daughter confronted the bully and said, “Do you want to be friends with me?” The bully answered, “Yes.” And my daughter continued, “Then you have to be nice to that other girl.”

The long, winding road (Week 5 Days 4-7)

I took a break from the regular hum of my life.

My family life got super stressful for a good 30 hours from Thursday morning until Friday afternoon. I could barely breathe and my mind nearly exploded.

But life is back on and we are fully prepared (that’s a lie) for what comes ahead.

You see our family will be moving this summer. When? This summer. Can you be more specific? Nope. Where are you moving? No idea. Are you crazy? I think we established that long ago.

On May 24th my husband will cross a stage and it will be announced where our family will spend the next year. Exciting? For sure. Nerve-wracking? Undoubtably.

What makes it more ‘fun’ is that directly after that service our family will drive 8 hours to Regina because my husband’s youngest brother gets married on the 25th. We hope to be awake enough and not too cranky so that we can celebrate with the awesome couple. My future sister-in-law is one of the awesome crazy people that is doing the half-marathon in September. My 3 wicked (the good kind of wicked) sister-in-laws and I will be busting our butts and completing the course. I am blessed to have these wonderful ladies in my family. You should all be jealous.

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Now about today’s run: that was the most fantastic feeling ever!

Today my goal was to run 4 miles or 6.5 km. This would be the longest distance that I had ever ran before in my life.

I woke up this morning begrudgingly and got out of my nice warm bed. It was -4 degrees, so very nice for running. My iPod was left on from my last run by accident so I had no music to keep me going this morning. I was nervous.

I totally hit my stride. My mind began to wander to all sorts of things. I walked for maybe 2 minutes while I tried to fix my shoes and the moleskin. But the rest I ran. I was slow but steady. I took a wrong turn that would have left me shy of my target distance so I darted around parking lots and took longer routes to make up the difference.

That was also the first time I had ever been through the A&W drive-thru without ordering anything.

That run was a thing of beauty and I knew I could have made another kilometre without any problem.

Wow. If only all my runs could go this well.

Who contemplates the sky? (Week 5 Day 3)

What a satisfying morning!

I love the water and while I haven’t swam laps in at least 18 years, I never turn down opportunities to be in/near/around/smelling the water.

When I arrived at the leisure centre at 5:30 I was amazed to see that there were over a dozen people already in the pool area. I walked out and expected to head into the slow lane to attempt my swim.

I was interested to see the ‘social event of the season’ going on. There were probably 9 seniors in the slow lane walking around and chatting and having a grand old time. For fear of accidentally smacking an older lady while doing the backstroke, I opted instead to head to the medium lane where there was only one other person.

I was glad at that moment that I had a coworker who had taken up swimming so I knew a tiny bit about etiquette while lane swimming (and I didn’t have to Google it at all). I grabbed a kickboard just in case I tired out right away.

My first lap was the front swim in which I realized my calm breathing and smooth strokes that I began with soon declined into quick breaths and sputtering for air while my limbs stared confused at me. I did the back stroke for the following lap so I could plan out my next attack.

I eventually grabbed a kickboard and began to practice my breathing techniques.

As shoddy as my laps and swimming was, I was expecting much worse. I expected my body to tire too quickly and to be bored (since I don’t have those fancy swimming headphones.)

But I really enjoyed myself.

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And to continue my attempts to “keep going on” in this worrisome week I am on to points 4, 5, and 6 from this article from wiki that I began yesterday.

4. Push yourself

Whether it is in a workout or at home, our family tends to strive for tough goals. I have to say we can do this part well.

Grade A

5. Control what you can control

This one is really tough. There are 3 of us in this household and we are all fiercely independent people. So we all like to have control. We are at a point in our lives where very little anymore is within our control. We jump between being completely okay with it to worried about when we can start planning and start to take back control haha. I like firm deadlines and processes. Very little in our life is like that right now.

Grade B- (points for effort)

6. Look up and contemplate the sky, why is it even there?

What?

Grade D

Shabam! And other such nonsense. (Week 5 Day 1 & 2)

I am all out of pizazz.

My running life and my (for real) life are running out of energy. Could it be the misplaced coffee recently eliminated from my diet? Very possible.

More likely, however, is the fact that my family is stressed right now. I will keep you updated on the progress of our lives -as I know it- in this form.

Current status:

  • Husband in school
  • Husband working
  • Me working
  • Daughter in school

I will let you know if anything changes. Because this week there may be a shake-up.

I Googled “Keep going on” for ideas on how to make it past this week of doom. I found a helpful wiki article that gave me simple 12 step instructions. I have 4 days to get through so I figured I would try to conquer 3 of those steps each day and give myself a grade. Because who doesn’t love judging themselves in front of the entire internet the few of you that who are kind enough to read this thing.

1. Pace yourself

I went into the gym and ran on the treadmill today and that is awesomely pacing myself, mostly because the machine makes me pace myself. At work and at home I am too busy so that drags down my grade.

Grade B-

2. Be mindful that there are no easy roads so choose a rewarding path and go hard for yours

Sheesh, this one pulls no punches. Quotes like these don’t take into consideration that the tough road may be the wrong one. And you don’t know that until the end of the road and it would be silly to beat your head against the wall to force yourself to continue failing. The rest of the explanation of this step is all about positive thinking…. I am all about realistic thinking.

Grade D

3. Congratulate yourself when you reach small milestones.

I think I DO actual do this. This writing has been a source ‘beating my own drum’ as I complete my daily workouts. Heck, I am at week 5 already! And as far as life is concerned, my family has been amazing this past year. We made it through many trials together and continue to baby step our way onward. (Does that remind anyone else of the What about Bob movie?)

Grade A- (don’t need a swelled head)

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Today I didn’t battle the elements but instead got stuck on a stepmaster thing at the gym until a treadmill opened up. My cardio was fantastic and I would have aimed for a faster pace if I would have known how good I would feel when I was finished.

Also a bonus this morning was that when I woke up and could straighten my arms without pain. I am looking at you, bosu ball bicep curls.

Tomorrow I attempt swimming laps and other such nonsense!

Edited to add: got a swanky new haircut

Before

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After

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Fresh Snow (Week 4 Day 6 & 7)

It has been an interesting day full of reflection.

I hate these days. I sit and I think and I worry and I second guess myself.

As I ran through the fresh snow this morning, my feet unexpectedly struck small puddles of slush. My feet were now wet. Discouraging and blindsiding me as my run was just beginning.

The dampness of the snow made my feet continually slip step by step as I moved, I was blazing a new trail as my feet were the only footprints on the sidewalk. I felt like I was going nowhere. I was moving, but so slowly. I thought my goal of running the entire length would not happen (and I was correct). As my feet pushed off the snow my calves ached and groaned.

I began searching for something, anything to keep me going. A familiar face, landmark with memories, a car, some wild rabbits… But there didn’t seem to be anything out with me.

As I finally began to see a few other footprints I felt less alone. The familiar sight of one small wheel and footprints in a line confirmed that this road had a paper delivery already. I speculated on the route of another set of running tracks. How far did they run? Why didn’t they head down the only downhill portion in this area?

With the snow slightly falling in my eyes as I ran east I was trying to remember those who had not shovelled their walks. With the soft white blanket, everything looked flat and clear even though there were rough icy patches beneath.

My legs were giving out far before my lungs were. I made it to the same spot that I did last week and I pushed myself hard to get there.

I made it through. Five kilometres later and I felt pretty good about my run and I smiled to myself. A great feeling even though I looked back and saw my missteps, my failures, and remembered my pain.

My family is going through a run now. But we have not made it to the end yet.

I can’t wait to look back on this and smile.

It’s a Trap! (Week 4 Day 5)

My knee is feeling fabulous today! I iced it yesterday and last night and the stairs in my house no longer give me pain.

It was a good thing that I was healed because I got my butt kicked tonight at bootcamp…. Which they are now calling crosscamp to signify that is it a cross between bootcamp (which is difficult) and crossfit (which insane people do). I signed up for bootcamp…. I feel like I got a bit of a ‘bait and switch’.

It’s a trap!

After the warm-up we did two rounds of 4 sets of 3 exercises in each set…. I am not sure if that’s correct. My mind is still weary from the pace and intensity. I sure pushed myself today.

My first station was push-ups, bosu ball bicep curls, and tricep dips. (12 at a time) I think I did 48 of each if my math is correct.

The second station I learned how to something-with-a-bar that I can’t remember, pull-ups (with a band), and burpees. (7 at a time)

The third station was back squats, evil wheels, and stability ball quad curls. (10 at a time)I was surprisingly able to do fairly well with the last one; no doubt due to the running I have been doing.

On the fourth station we had 5 stairs, rowing until you hit 10 calories burned, and skipping 60 times.

Each of these stations you did as many as you could in order and restarting for four minutes and then moved to the next station. Then we got a 2 minute rest and we started it again.

The highlights of the night were not anything I was doing , however.

The highlights involved my daughter mimicking her mom and dad’s routines. When we ran stairs she ran around the top floor, when we did push-ups so did she, and when we were pressing the bar she was pressing her banana. What a kid haha!

She also left a note for Angie our regular trainer. We did not find this out until the drive home. Angie was away tonight because she is competing in Lloydminster this weekend and my daughter thinks she is fantastic.

The note said:

Dear Angie,

Could 5 dollars let me do a little workout? (She inserted a box for Angie to answer her) When you see me give me this card back.

From your friend Trinity
PS I’ll talk about it then

❤ I love that kid