I am scared! The feeling of knots in my stomach as it churns. It happens for all my major workouts.
Today it is happening because I am going for my 2.5 mile run today.
I was probably over dressed for the run. I had so many layers on that I felt like a stuffed turkey.
I began with a charged iPod and convinced that I was leaving too late to finish the loop through my neighbourhood. My feet felt sluggish and heavy as they slipped steadily though fresh snow on the sidewalks. I made it to the end of the first small block and was sore and tired.
I stopped, sighed, and then turned around and walked back two steps. I was thinking to myself that “I would not get done soon enough for all of us to get up and ready for the day. I would do this run later on today when I had more time.”
At that moment I knew I was lying to myself. I would not do it later; if I didn’t run now I would skip the entire day.
I turned around and there I saw a jackrabbit. I have a silly obsession with the creatures after a run-in with one prevented me from certain disaster. So every time I see them I am spurred onto life and to seize the day. Silly? Yes. Does this stop my elated feeling? Nope.
That was all the extra motivation I needed; I continued my run.
My ankles were sore about 10 minutes in for the lack of stability on the covered sidewalks. I switched back and forth from running to brisk walking to try and relieve some of the pain I felt.
I made the decision (and promptly changed my mind) to cut my run shorter about 5 times: two minutes in, six minutes in, eight minutes in, twelve minutes in, and fifteen minutes in. By the last one there were no more shortcuts left, I HAD to finish the 2.76 mile trek. My excuses were stripped away.
I was now able to think of rhythm and plan out how I can be successful with this running business. I longed to stretch out my stride (and for my warm bed) and really run. Safety was a good motivator to keep them short and steady. I am a klutz and one injury would be enough to end this experiment in madness.
I was entirely too happy to walk in the door having completed it. Even if it meant a rush to get ready this morning.
Next time I will leave earlier so I can relax a bit afterward. Next time I will be more prepared.
^^^ The most important part I wrote above is that there will be a “next time“.